What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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The Qur'an

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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