I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops