It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops