How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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A black man walks out of a police station

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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I love alchohol!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops