What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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