united we sit, cause we're fat

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Adam Claypool is a fag. and his mother sweats my cum. Now that we got that out of the way lets get to the jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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first

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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belly button

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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A seal walks into a club.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops