How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

thumb_up thumb_down

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down

I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

thumb_up thumb_down

What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

thumb_up thumb_down

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops