Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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