why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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LOL

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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