"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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I went to work today....

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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a black man pays his child support

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Illumati Confirmed

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops