what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

djkldfnblfnbofgb

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

thumb_up thumb_down -1

person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call your mom? mom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops