Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops