An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Hey Shea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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