How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops