How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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