What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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