What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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