I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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UN

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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Nathan likes butt games with African American men

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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