Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

hi penis ham telephone

Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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