Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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