Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops