Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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rarw

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops