A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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