Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops