Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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69.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops