whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

Why are trees green? I have no idea

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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