Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Fine, ladies first.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops