Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Where's the soap?

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops