A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Penis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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