So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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