Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Feminism.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops