Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

Immigration Laws

In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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