- Anti Joke

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

What do you call 4 black guys in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat. What do you call a fat black guy in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat Chunky.

Can midgets still have big dreams?

What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

Nero7 Here, unless you know what Neronism is, you will be wasting your time by reading this. Dear those of you that have proven yourselves worthy and willing to undertake my teachings and succeeded, as you know this is your last test, it is a simple one if you use your head (and read this at this hour, if not then you have made a lot of effort for nothing) Many have failed this last test: You are the ones insisting on meeting the "true leader" "the one" but too many refuse to believe I am the leader once you meet me. Sure, I look as if I am 19-22 or something, but since this is horsehead network, a pretty shitty site to be honest, I will admit here for the first and last time online, that I am in fact 37 years old. And if you are still unwilling that I came up with all the principles, which you now know less than 3 percent about, then do not bother showing up at all, as I have lost too many talented individuals which leave in frustration believing that I am my own errand boy, or that even now that I carry the "Mark of Nero" refuse to believe that my teachings cannot be real because they are not written by a 130 year old "mystic" that has spent his whole life in the mountains coming up with this. As for "the mark of Nero" (Used to and still hate the name but it caught on and has become my trademark) even now people wont believe that I am the founder and leader behind it all, I mean who else has the lower half of his (or for that sake her) arm replaced with a black prosthetic made of steel? It even has the code engraved into it, and the writings clearly stating NERO7 On one side, and Néron (Spanish for Nero) on the other? So for those disappointed that I am not an ancient mystic, and as thus believe that concepts such as hypnosis is a "mystical, magical, ancient or religious concept that only "a few chosen one can learn", then you should by this point know that there is nothing spiritual, mystical and nonetheless that I hate religion with a passion... I under these circumstances I can not announce which people have qualified, but considering we where surprised there where those willing to undertake and nonetheless qualify here at all, I expect you all to wait at home tomorrow, where you are to be given more instructions by calling the number you should have learned to decipher trough this (sigh OVERLY LONG statement, forgive me, I have serious issues with my jaw after a fight, my physician claims he can do nothing, and as such I fired him, and hope I find a competent replacement one among our ranks) As for those of you that did not qualify, you have my sincerest apologies and will instead receive a full refund for your traveling expenses, and a complementary donation as thanks for trying, know that you have not failed a test, but are those of you which have proven yourselves unable to do the necessary effort, and those of you that have refused, or are simply unable to make the necessary changes, (or if you prefer, sacrifices) in order to join us. Ps: Please stop asking what it costs to join... I already told you that I have no need for your money, and as hard as some of you seem to believe that is... Lets just say I got enough myself, and my followers while given guidelines, are all responsible for managing their own financials for now, we do not provide charity either, with that said, the ones lacking assets, will be given the offer to work for me, under strict yet fair circumstances. PSS: I mean it, if you have already lied about your use of marijuana "because it is legal and natural" know that I PERSONALLY hate its use, and will PERSONALLY kick your ass out of MY order myself... As for Scientologists, do not even bother, I have eyes among your ranks, and we will keep watching. (Nero apologizes for his lack of manners, frustration, spelling errors and to quote him directly "all of that shit" during this last message, as far as our physicians can tell, he does indeed have several fractures on his jaw which might have led to an infection of unknown degree and in addition yet unidentified issues with his neck, both which according to our top physicians have led towards serious sleep deprivation, and if I might personally add from personal observation: Yes his physical health and mental performance has indeed seriously declined, as his right hand person, I have decided to exclude his presence from your introduction into our order. With that said, his condition is stable and he will indeed be with you during the days you will stick around, as much as he dislikes the use of painkillers, the physicians and the serious decline of productivity in his absence, has left him with no choice but to cooperate with the physicians advice.

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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