Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Santa isn't real

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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