How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops