What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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