What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's red and a cow? Red cow

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Connor is homo

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops