Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

haha

what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

no

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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