Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Half life 3 confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops