What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops