the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops