Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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