What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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