What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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CFL

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What did the mentally challenged kid get on his test? Drool

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops