roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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A Jewish man walks by a penny.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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