Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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