two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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The global news

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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Boner

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Screw it you write the joke.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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