What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

thumb_up thumb_down -14

there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A dog is always in the pushup position.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

you suck

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ily bae

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

thumb_up thumb_down -14

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Take part of what?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the man say to his wife? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops