there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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have safe sex

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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