Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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run farther?

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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Your mother is average.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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