Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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