Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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Robert Mugabe.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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