Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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well now

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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