Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...