Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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