What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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Your sex life.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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