So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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