Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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