How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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