Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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Maths.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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