Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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Jesus Christ

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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What do u call a beaner when he stands up 4 foot nothing

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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