Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

Link ate ink to make him sink.

Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

I C U P White stuff

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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